Your Personalized Safety Planning Guide

Immediate Danger? Call 911 Now.

If your abuser may see this page, use the QUICK EXIT button at the top right of your screen immediately. This page is for planning, not for immediate emergencies.

This is your plan. Every situation is different, and only you know what is safe for you. The steps below are a starting framework — not a checklist you must complete. A trained advocate at 800-799-SAFE can help you personalize a plan for your exact situation, free and confidential, 24/7.

A safety plan helps you prepare for a crisis, reduce risk, and protect your long-term independence. You are in control of every step.

Step 1: Digital & Communication Safety

Use a Safe Device: Access this information using a public computer (library) or a new, private burner phone.
Change Passwords: Change passwords for all email, social media, banking, and phone accounts on a safe device. Use complex, unique phrases.
Disable Location: Turn off GPS/location services on your phone and check apps (like "Find My" or shared family accounts) for tracking.
Clear History: If you must use a shared computer, clear your browser history after every session, or use Incognito/Private mode.
Watch for Spyware: Sudden battery drain, strange messages, or apps you didn't install can mean monitoring software. When in doubt, get a new device.

Step 2: Securing Important Documents

Gather these items and store them in a secure, accessible location (a friend's house, safety deposit box, or trusted workplace locker):

Government ID / Passport (yours & children's)
Birth Certificates (yours & children's)
Social Security Cards (yours & children's)
Marriage / Divorce / Custody Papers
Immigration / Green Card documents
School & vaccination records for children

Health Insurance Cards
Bank Account / Credit Card Info
Lease or Deed to Home
Medical Records & Medication list
Vet records & pet vaccination records
Photos of injuries or property damage (evidence)

Step 3: Crisis & Exit Strategy

Create a Code Word: Establish a code word or phrase with trusted family, friends, or neighbors that signals you need immediate help — without alerting the abuser.
Identify Safe Spots: Plan where you will go (friend's house, shelter, police station). Save the National Hotline (800-799-SAFE) in multiple places.
Practice the Route: Mentally — or physically — rehearse the safest way out of your home. Avoid areas where the abuser might corner you (kitchen, garage, rooms without a second exit).
Pack a Go-Bag: Hide a bag with copies of essential documents, spare keys, cash, medication, a charged phone, and small comfort items for children/pets. Keep it ready to grab.
Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, leave. You don't need permission and you don't need to wait for "proof."

Step 4: Children's Safety

Children sense more than adults realize. Including them in age-appropriate safety planning protects them and helps them feel less afraid.

Teach Them to Call 911: Make sure children know their full address and how to dial 911. Practice it like a fire drill — calmly, without scaring them.
Give Them a Safe Code Word: Use a simple word that means "go to your room and lock the door" or "go to the neighbor's house." Practice the response.
Pick a Safe Room: Identify the safest room in the house for children to go to during an incident — ideally one with a door lock and a phone.
Tell Them Clearly: It Is Not Their Job to Protect You. Children should never try to intervene. Their only job is to get safe and call for help.
Update School & Daycare: Provide an updated authorized pickup list. Submit a copy of any custody order or Order of Protection. Ask the school to call you (not the abuser) for any concerns.
Watch What You Share: Children may unintentionally repeat plans. Share leaving plans with them only when necessary and only when you are very close to acting.
After-Care Matters: Children exposed to DV often need counseling. NYC Safe Horizon Children's Advocacy Centers offer free trauma support — ask the hotline for a referral.

Step 5: Pet Safety

Many survivors delay leaving because they fear for their pets. You don't have to choose between your safety and theirs — resources exist.

Safe Havens for Pets: Free, confidential foster care for pets of DV survivors. Visit safehavensforpets.org to find a local program.
RedRover Relief Grants: Emergency grants to help with pet boarding when you are escaping abuse. Apply at redrover.org.
NYC Urban Resource Institute (URI): Operates PALS — one of the few NYC shelters that allows survivors to bring their pets with them.
Include Pets in Orders of Protection: New York law allows pets to be named in Orders of Protection. Tell your advocate or attorney.
Pack Pet Essentials: Add to your go-bag — vaccination records, microchip info, a few days of food, a leash/carrier, medications, a familiar toy.
Photograph Your Pet: Recent photos with you in them establish ownership if your pet is taken or hidden.

Step 6: After You Leave

Leaving is the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship. The plan doesn't end when you walk out the door — it shifts.

Get an Order of Protection: File at NYC Family Court (free) or through criminal court if charges are filed. Carry a copy with you at all times. The NYC Family Justice Centers (one in each borough) can help — walk-in, no appointment needed.
NYS Address Confidentiality Program (ACP): Free state program that gives you a substitute address to use on records, so your abuser cannot find you through public databases. Apply through the NY Department of State.
Change Your Routines: Vary your route to work, school, and the grocery store. Change gym, pharmacy, daycare, and bank locations if possible.
Get a New Phone & Number: Even better — keep two phones. One the abuser knows about (use minimally) and one they don't.
Tell Your Workplace: Provide a photo of the abuser to security/reception. Ask coworkers not to confirm your schedule. Many NYC employers must accommodate DV survivors under NYC Human Rights Law.
Lock Down Social Media: Set everything to private. Remove location tags. Ask friends and family not to post photos of you, your home, or your children.
Document Everything: Save threatening texts, emails, voicemails, and screenshots. Keep a dated log of any contact attempts. This becomes evidence.
Plan for Court Dates: Bring a support person. Sit away from the abuser. Ask the court officer for a separate waiting area — it is your right.

Ready for the Next Step?

Connecting with a professional advocate can help you refine your plan and provide access to shelter, legal aid, and counseling.

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